August 27, 2012

• It's All Latin

  Saturday was a crazy party at an old train station.  The crowd was young.  The music was loud.  The setting was surreal - lights and beautifully dressed people (it was the after party for Omaha Fashion Week).  I looked fantastic.  Cute dress - ruffled skirt and full length zipper in the front - flirty and fashionable and age appropriate.  Super comfy and cute heels.  But I had the problem that all white women my age (and younger) have.  Men don't like to dance.

  An acquaintance, a poet that I met at a Winter Solstice Party, showed up to be my dance partner.  He took my hand and twirled me.  He kissed my neck and framed my hips with his hands.  He easily swung me through the crowd and made me feel graceful and beautiful.  I complimented his dancing.  He told me that Latin men are the best dancers because everything is either a merengue, a salsa or a cha cha.  As the bass from the house music, not exactly Latin-sounding, pulsed through me I laughed, but really, I recognized that this was authentic.  We danced for three solid hours.  We stood in line for the bathroom and he noted the "Citizen Kane" lighting coming in the top windows nearly two floors above us in the cavernous train station.  I felt myself melt just a bit at this nostalgic observation and leaned into him while we smiled at the light.  We sat outside on a cement step while I waited for my girl friend to finish talking to her friends and drive me home.  He tried to kiss me on the lips and tried to talk me into coming home with him where he assured me he would be a "total gentleman."  I felt a bit like I was at a high school dance, I realized, and I was acting like it.  Are 41 year-old women more or less responsible?

  I got myself safely into my friend's car.

  Things are not good at home.  I am lonely.  I miss being touched.  I miss the swoony feeling of having someone look into my eyes and smile.  It was good to be reminded of my sexuality and all the (potentially messy) things that go with it.

  • 10:52 am
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