October 2, 2012
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I think I have been here before...
Got several texts this morning from her dad. He's done, or rather, his wife is done and she needs to move out. His wife is threatening to leave, and as he put it, she helps pay the mortgage.
So where does she go? I have really enjoyed NOT having her at our house. It is SO much more peaceful. It's everything - the whole house is calmer. I have really recognized that I have some PTSD when it comes to her. I can't relax. I can't enjoy her. I am just waiting for the next thoughtless, harmful incident.
I buy low calorie ice cream snacks for myself. Right now in the refrigerator there are, no kidding, FOUR BOXES of various flavors of ice cream. And my diet ice cream treats. I don't have one every day. There was a bar in the freezer all weekend. And last night I went to go eat it. It was gone. In my head I thought, oh yeah, Anna was here. I have talked to her about this issue many times. Sometimes she actually argues with me and tells me that it's stupid to get so upset about ice cream. She does not get it. Why my ice cream? Is scooping ice cream really that big a deal?
You know, if it was just the ice cream I could deal with it. But the ice cream is symbolic of what it is like to live with her in total. She is totally oblivious that ANYone else exists or has needs or thoughts. She dominates conversations. She argues about my house rules. She takes things from every member of the family - coats, food, gum, pens - if it is out then it is fair game and she doesn't even get why that is a problem.
The upside of all of this is that I am relieved to know that her dad can't handle her either. I am not the common denominator here...
Comments (3)
My husband eats my low calorie ice cream snacks. As well as his regular ones and just about everything else he can get his hands on.
low calorie ice cream snacks do not sound appetizing at all. they would be safe in my freezer - that sounds a lot deeper than the literal sense in which it is written.
that child also exists at our house but it is the middle daughter. in her element when arguing for twenty minutes about how she shouldn't have to do a thirty second task. and really finds her voice when she needs her parents to do something that isn't being done - when her problems become our problems then she really shines.
it's so incredibly difficult to explain to your kids that horrible behavior and habits do not help you survive in the adult world. there is nowhere that your bullshit antics wil be accepted and that is why we challenge your thoughtless treatment of everyone else in the house.
good luck dealing with this next round of parenting.
Ugh, sorry you have to deal with this. Since she is working, has she thought about getting her own place? Is that a possibility at all? I just realized one of the advantages of having a child go away to college is that they would have a dorm to live in, at least, during these years. What does she say about getting kicked out of dad's place? Undoubtedly, she thinks he & his wife are the problem?
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