November 21, 2012
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I Prefer Thanksgiving at My House
My mother is law is a little crazy and is over medicated. She has fibromyalgia and takes narcotics that she mixes pretty freely with a whole variety of other medications. I have known her for 12 years and I have watched her deteriorate. She can't concentrate enough to drive a car or read a book. Her social anxiety is worse all the time. She has some paranoid ideas and it is difficult to talk to her sometimes because she doesn't remember things or misunderstands or mistakenly takes offense.
Despite all of this, I love her and enjoy spending time with her. My husband does not. He has his own social anxiety issues and does not want to spend the holidays (or any day) with his family. I enjoy holidays at her house because it's emotionally easier for me in some ways. They're not my parents. These aren't my siblings. I love them all and think they're pretty cool, so it works out ok for me. I have always helped with Thanksgiving dinner at her house and one year I even cooked the whole meal at her house because she was recovering from surgery.
I lay all of this history out there because it is relevant to the funny and irritating result that my mother in law thinks that I don't want to come to her house for Thanksgiving. She told my husband, my brother in law and my father in law that I don't like having Thanksgiving at her house. She sends me carefully crafted emails in which she tip toes around and compliments me on my cooking or parenting or whatever and then says, "I know that you like having Thanksgiving at your house, but this year is different..." Um. What? I mean, it's not like we have Thanksgiving at their house every year, but we do every other year and even some of the others. And they have always been very pleasant in my experience.
My brother in law and I worked out the menu (she should not be allowed in the kitchen for reasons that should by now be obvious) and we both told her this and despite that she emailed us both and asked us to bring different things.
And then yesterday my son was home sick from school. And then last night his abdominal pain was worse and was on the lower right side. And the doctor at the ER confirmed appendicitis and the surgeon took out the funny thing. Surgery is amazing these days. He was home before Bill got home from work. But it changes Thanksgiving plans for me.
I'm having Thanksgiving at my house. So there! Ha!
Comments (2)
zing!
bill's mom is crazy, but she's always been crazy. there's a combination of denied hearing loss, which leads to misunderstandings or deletions, a bit of general old lady crankiness, and something of a mean streak that unleashes itself on whichever of her children is currently disappointing her the most. for a long time (and still intermittently) that was bill. she also loves them all, loves the grandchildren, and loves for the family to be together... so there's a weird obligation/desire thing happening as far as visiting.
this year thanksgiving is saturday, so today i get to stay home and clean. if we leave the house, it'll be for desserts and quick greetings. really, better that way.
Oh sure, how CONVENIENT that you scheduled your son's surgery the day before Thanksgiving. Hmmm.
I don't have to go anywhere. My husband bowed out of obligations from his family years ago (and they don't put any pressure on anymore anyway), reminding them that the highway runs toward our house as well. His long weekends are too precious to him - he'd rather stay home than drive for two days.
Anyway, I hope your son is o.k.! That must have been scary.
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