November 22, 2012
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I Make Amazing Corn Casserole
This morning was a colossal mess. I am sad and angry about the state of my marriage. I really feel bad whining about my marriage all the time. I worry that it is me. I wonder if my expectations are too high. But they seem low to me? We talked on the porch for a short while before he had to go and he observed, "This can't be solved in ten minutes." Long story short, my emotional neediness freaks him out and makes him distance himself from me which results in me getting sadder and him getting angrier. Anyway. They left.
My son was napping, the girls were happily listening to music/texting friends/planning shopping and the turkey was in the oven. I leashed Stella and took her for a very long walk. I cried while we walked. I lay in the leaves in the park and she licked my face. We walked some more. My house smelled amazing when we got home. I finished up dinner prep and we had a beautiful dinner - just the four of us. It was quite different than any Thanksgiving dinner I have ever had and was pretty awesome, actually. We listened to pop music on M's iphone. We went around the table saying what we were grateful for about each other (you have awesome hair, you have good taste in music, etc.) and then had an airing of grievances (my favorite was M's grievance that I only make the corn casserole on Thanksgiving and "this shit is too good for once a year"). My son and I played Monopoly after dinner while the girls did all the dishes. My son is now napping, the girls are heading out shopping soon, and I am finishing off the beaujolais.
I feel reminded that my kids and I are my family. My husband is not a father to them and his kids are not siblings to them. My kids and I can love them but really when it comes down to it, it is me and my (shockingly similar to me) kids.
Comments (6)
holy shitbirds, we really are the same (if you discount the fact that you are gorgeous and professional and intelligent)...
family is family. the people that you 100% call FAMILY will never question it but the people with questions / confusions / dotted lines in the family tree will always have a sense of outsider.
also i am upset that this picture, on which i am clicking, cannot be made larger.
all else aside, because i don't really know what to say, i'm glad that the closest people to you are the closest people to you. you will be family forever, so that's pretty huge.
(i'm also a little stunned that frank is standing up so straight healthy-looking after having his appendix out, what? 48 hours earlier? i'm such a wussbag.)
all else aside, because i don't really know what to say, i'm glad that the closest people to you are the closest people to you. you will be family forever, so that's pretty huge.
(i'm also a little stunned that frank is standing up so straight healthy-looking after having his appendix out, what? 48 hours earlier? i'm such a wussbag.)
I don't think I've ever had corn casserole. You may have to share your secret recipe. And that turkey is HUMONGOUS.
This is a wonderful photo! I'm sorry that the story behind it is not as happy, but it sounds like you all had a great day still. Where did B. have to go? To his family's? You don't strike me as emotionally needy. I mean, I'm not *married* to you... but aren't we all emotionally needy? Isn't that why we are in relationships, to have those needs met?
This is a great photo.
I really hope you can figure things out with your husband. That does not sound fun at all.
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