The kids are with their dad this weekend. It should mean that I get the weekend off from parenting, but I volunteer for the high school debate team, so that means that from November I spend ALL my Saturdays from November through March driving a van of high school kids to high school debate tournaments and judging debate rounds all day.

I had other things to do today - my husband's family had a big gathering today - an early Thanksgiving. My bookclub met tonight. My tango group had an event. But i gave my regrets to all of those people because of debate. My kids and debate come first.

So last night I cleaned my house (my property owner is coming by on Sunday) and went to bed early. I got up at 5 and picked the kids up at their dad's and drove to the high school. The debate coach was surprised to see me because he told me that I had the day off - he had fewer kids this weekend this usual and didn't need me. So I drove home and went back to bed. I got up and ate a pot pie and watched Turner Classic Movies (an adorable comedy). Then I went to a movie downtown (Twelve Years a Slave) and came home to nap. I got up to each nachos and watch Netflix. I don't ever do this. I really needed to do this.

Don't tell anyone I was home today, ok? Sleep! Junk food! The house to myself!

I'm going to put on a record and finish this bottle of wine and go to bed in my clean house and wake up in my clean house and feel well rested and indulged and relaxed for the first time in a long while.

We were running late and crabby. I turned up the radio.

"Let's dance in style, lets dance for a while
Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst" I sang along.

"Are you going to drop the bomb or not?" they joined in as we sat at the parking lot. The mood shifted.

By the chorus we were exaggeratedly moaning,

"Forever young, i want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever forever
Forever young, i want to be forever young

Some day I will collect all of my morning commute stories and I will bind them and give them to F at his high school graduation. I cannot wait until my morning routine only involves getting ME up, dressed, fed, and transported to work. At the same time I will miss this.

"Do you really want to live forever?
Forever young"

I have had an unbelievably good year professional-wise. I have gotten several very favorable newspaper articles about cases of mine. I had a universal remand from the State Supreme Court (pretty much that means that I am right and the State was wrong and nyah nyah). I have had some grant ideas that went over well.

I got an award at work (basically the employee of the year award) and I just got a letter telling me that I got another award - this time from a group of agencies that I work for. I am supposed to get the aweard at an annual awards breakfast and it's kind of a big deal.

Bill was happy for me (we had lunch today since I had the day off and he was home, of course) but he refused to even consider going to the awards breakfast.

"They'll be people and hand shaking and speeches and I'm going to have to meet people."

"Well, yeah," I said.

It's a goddamn awards ceremony FOR HIS WIFE and all he can think about is that he would have to shake hands or talk to someone.

Fucking hell.